


wash what we know out to the sea

by byeolbit



Series: these deep blue waters [5]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Mermen VIXX
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 11:17:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21409312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byeolbit/pseuds/byeolbit
Summary: It's been many lunar cycles since Sanghyuk has seen Jaehwan.
Relationships: Han Sanghyuk | Hyuk/Lee Jaehwan | Ken
Series: these deep blue waters [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1157711
Kudos: 14





	1. I - Past

**Author's Note:**

> [Reading playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2Yb4nSDvpBGGTCdZzX6VVy?si=LNpPmG4yR2SzFpbEoDV2Ig)

Jaehwan is a child born in the deep oceans, hidden away in the darkest depths of the planet. He is born to the lonely sorceress of the sea after months of prayer to the moon gods. 

Jaehwan is her precious treasure and treated as such. Though they live in a secluded part of the sea with very little company, Jaehwan has nothing to want for. 

He sits in protection of his mother's fins and learns about the universe. He learns of the sea and the creatures that swim through it. He learns of the land that divided the seas and the stars that hang in the sky above it.

"One day, I shall roam all of the oceans and see all of it" he tells his mother.

"One day you shall" she agrees. She has read the stars and knows her son is destined for greater things. He has a part to play in a larger destiny that's unfolding.

Jaehwan learns of the curse of the humans. Of how they are forced to live amongst the dead of the sea, unable to step foot in water without dying. He learns of the greed of the sea folk that sent them there and how the land folk eventually lose all knowledge of their brethren of the oceans.

As Jaehwan lives through lunar cycles and his fins strengthen, he longs to explore the ocean. 

He ventures out to see the vast world of the oceans. He follows schools of fish as they swim along the currents. He swims in and out of coral reefs and wonderfully odd structures that lay on the seabed, made of materials he has never seen and covered with moss and starfishes. 

He collects different gems from all of his adventures and brings them back to his mother to learn more about their magical properties.

His mother worries but hides it. She knows he is a curious child and she cannot keep him from his adventures. He will eventually leave her lair and make his own way through the oceans. His destiny is written in the stars and the stars never lie to merfolk.

So she instructs him in the art of magic. She teaches him everything she knows and then some more. How to make potions that heal different types of pain that fishes face, how to distinguish between the poisonous and non poisonous algae, how to use the stars to navigate. She teaches him which parts of the ocean are hidden from humans and which parts are close enough for him to observe and learn while being out of danger.

Once Jaehwan reaches maturity, he decides to leave his mother's protection and travel the oceans. He departs, following a pod of dolphins up north to the warmer waters. He helps them forage for food and in return they teach him how to dive into the open air using his tail and core strength.

From there Jaehwan moves further north and then east and south again, going wherever his heart takes him. Jaehwan travels far and wide and develops his craft, making a name for himself as a sea sorcerer.

It's in the midst of these travels that Jaehwan finds Taekwoon.

Taekwoon is merely a child but his beauty is a legend amongst the local fish in the school Jaehwan is staying with. His red tail shimmers in the sunlight that filters through the surface on days of calm tides. But if you were to compliment him on it, his face turns red enough to match. 

Taekwoon is the quietest merman he has ever known and so far Jaehwan has only known a handful. But his curiosity matches Jaehwan's and the younger merman often follows behind whenever Jaehwan swims about, searching for ingredients of the potions he tries to make. 

Sometimes Taekwoon even accompanies him as he treats injured whales, singing to calm them down while Jaehwan works on their wounds.

For a few turns of the moon, Jaehwan almost expects Taekwoon to ask Jaehwan to take him on as an apprentice. But to his surprise it isn't Taekwoon who asks him, but Sanghyuk.

Sanghyuk is Taekwoon's friend. A merman with many tails akin to a jellyfish. Each glow a different colour to reflect his mood and Jaehwan is intrigued. 

He agrees to take Sanghyuk as his apprentice and his tails glow bright blue indicating happiness. When Sanghyuk is frustrated his tails are tinged orange and it glows dimly, like the sky after the sun has set on the far horizon. Sometimes when Sanghyuk blushes, his tails turn pink to match.

Jaehwan has never learnt restraint and so he expresses his admiration for his apprentice openly. Sanghyuk says it is only to tease him till his tails turn pink and Jaehwan agrees. What Jaehwan does not say is that pink looks lovely on Sanghyuk and that Jaehwan doesn't know quite why he likes looking at Sanghyuk. So he agrees to everything his apprentice says.

Jaehwan learns of love only when Taekwoon comes to him, begging for his help.

Taekwoon is prone to disappearing for extended periods of time. One might find him if they follow the westward current playing with the royal tangs and clownfishes or north among the shipwrecks, chasing anemone along because it amused him.

After one such period of absence, Taekwoon comes to him in the middle of the night. It's a moonless night and Taekwoon is scared but he doesn't let Jaehwan wake Sanghyuk.

Taekwoon talks about the man of the land he met. The man whose skin is kissed by the gods of the sun and whose heart shines brighter than the sun. The man who pitied the injured dolphin Taekwoon tried to rescue and helped them instead of killing or kidnapping them. The man who kept his secret and often sits by the shore every night to wait for him.

Taekwoon doesn't know when he fell in love but he did and he knows for sure that he would die of a broken heart if Jaehwan cannot help him hide this relationship.

Jaehwan consoles the merman who sobs on his shoulder. There just might be a way to help Taekwoon. A potion so ancient that it might as well be mythical. A fool's gamble, he knows.

But Jaehwan has always been one for adventure.


	2. II - Present

Sanghyuk swims around in circles. The sea around him is as murky as his thoughts and the current rushing against him stings his scales. His tails are a dim blue and the skies above are a dark grey.

It was a clear night when he left the cave with Jaehwan but the weather has taken a turn for the worse. The waves swirl and rise higher and recede lower, lashing back against other waves with a vengeance.

Sanghyuk runs into pieces of algae ripped out of the ground and thrown about in the strong current. He sighs and dives deeper, running into schools of fish that are scurrying about for shelter. A storm is coming and no living thing wishes to be caught in it.

A storm already holds Sanghyuk’s heart in a tight grip and refuses to let it go. His heart sinks with every passing thought in his head and he bites back tears.

Jaehwan. His master, Jaehwan. His best friend, Jaehwan.

How could he curse Taekwoon like that? To send him away, effectively banish him to the world of their dead and render him incapable of returning without great pain.

How could a merman be in love with a man of the sands?

Sanghyuk had seen them aboard the giant machines they called ships.

They had looked so alien and strange. They were weak and fragile, not strong like the true children of the seas. They were cursed, tails combined into weak limbs to crawl across the sands. Their fins ripped out and replaced with weak sacs of air that could kill them if filled with water.

In the name of which murky sea did that make sense? Water was life giving. How could any living thing bear to stay away?

And Taekwoon had gone and fallen in love with one of the cursed creatures.

And Jaehwan had helped him! Fashioned him into one of them and doomed him for life.

Sanghyuk doesn’t know what to do with this knowledge. He should be reporting this to the king of the seas. Discovery of Taekwoon’s identity on land could be dangerous for them all. There are laws for a reason!

If the royal guard catches Taekwoon or Jaehwan then either would be sentenced to death directly and Sanghyuk simply loves them too much to subject them to this fate.

Sanghyuk loves them.

This damning realization is the cause of his stormy feelings. He feels caught in a whirlpool and finds himself sinking deeper and deeper. The realization pulls him down like a strong seaweed tangled along his tail and never letting go.

And as much as he never wants to see Jaehwan again, he wishes Jaehwan was here to help him sort his thoughts out.

-

It's been many lunar cycles since Sanghyuk has seen Jaehwan.

Unsure of the right course of action, Sanghyuk returns to their home in the deep seas. He settles back into the old shipwreck that Jaehwan lived in and runs his apothecary.

Merfolk come and go, some with major injuries requiring immediate attention and some with minor ailments. All of them talk to him pleasantly but cannot help inquire about their favourite sea witch. Where is Jaehwan? When will he return? Has he moved on to a different part of the seas? What is he doing now?

Sanghyuk wishes he had these answers too. But he does his best to maintain a smiling face and lie that Jaehwan is travelling to collect more gems and plants for their potions. He should be back soon.

The shipwreck feels empty without Jaehwan in it. Sanghyuk has always been a silent child while Jaehwan was the talkative one. Most of the merfolk who have heard the story of the sea witch and his upbringing assume that Sanghyuk was the poor merman who grew up in isolation and not Jaehwan.

Sanghyuk misses him.

Sanghyuk misses him. He misses Jaehwan’s voice. He misses the teasing and flirting and how Jaehwan would lapse into thoughtful silence in the middle of a sentence and only emerge from it to say something absolutely unrelated to what they were discussing. He misses his weird food choices and how he talks to fish passing by. Sanghyuk misses the incessant nagging about charging gemstones in the correct times of the lunar cycle.

Gemstones…

Sanghyuk eyes the peridotite that sits in a vial on the shelf by the window in the corner of the caved in portion of the ship. Jaehwan said that it was an important part of the potion but Sanghyuk knows that peridotite is hard to come by in the seas between here and the land Taekwoon lives in.

This fact has been nagging him for many tides now. Did Jaehwan find more elsewhere? What if he searched for more and didn’t find any? Does Taekwoon have more of the potion that lets him stay alive on land? The worry makes Sanghyuk restless. How are Jaehwan and Taekwoon faring now?

He can’t continue living like this. The worry will drive him insane. Sanghyuk can’t spend forever worrying about his friends but he also can’t bring himself to stop.

In retrospect, this must be what prompts him to pick up the vial, pack up the makeshift apothecary and leave in search of answers.

-

Sanghyuk doesn’t expect to run into Taekwoon.

He begins his search with where he last left Jaehwan. He travels back to the shallow waters by the shore he swore never to return to. As he swims by the harbor, trying to avoid being seen by humans, he stumbles across a man seated on rocks that lie far beyond the sand line.

The familiar silhouette propels Sanghyuk forward. If you ignore the legs then Taekwoon looks like sirens from children’s stories. Perched on top of rocks in the middle of the waves, he looks majestic and untouchable. But his friend looks in good shape for a human.

Taekwoon recognizes him by the familiar faint blue glow. Sanghyuk’s tail would always glow blue whenever he came to meet Taekwoon. A sign of happiness, he was told by Jaehwan. Happiness that was reciprocated and still is.

“I didn’t expect to see you here” Taekwoon says first.

“Did Jaehwan tell you everything that happened?” Sanghyuk asks, embarrassed.

“He did” Taekwoon affirms.

“I’m sorry” Sanghyuk apologizes.

“I understand why you were angry at Jaehwan” Taekwoon tells him.

“I still don’t understand why you did it. Was it really worth giving up everything?” Sanghyuk asks him. Taekwoon looks at him and smiles tenderly. It’s a smile that comes with the weight of wisdom behind it.

“Love is like that. It makes us do foolish things” Taekwoon tells him. “But it also opens your eyes to the truths of the universe. I never believed in destiny till I met Hakyeon but once I did, I knew I was meant to love him. I’d make the same choice over and over in every lifetime.”

“I’m… happy that you are happy. I miss you terribly but I am also happy for you” Sanghyuk tells him. To his own surprise, he means it sincerely.

“I missed you too. I thought I might never see you again” Taekwoon confesses.

“I didn’t think I would either” Sanghyuk admits.

“You can’t stay very long. The tide will recede soon and the fishermen will board their ships and set sail for the day” Taekwoon advises. Sanghyuk nods in agreement. The moon has already crossed it’s zenith hours ago. Daybreak will be on them soon.

“If you are here looking for Jaehwan, then you should try swimming south towards Mu. The waters are dangerous but not impossible to navigate for merfolk and he left not too long ago. The lights will guide you” Taekwoon tells him.

“Thank you” Sanghyuk says, almost crying in joy. If he hasn’t missed Jaehwan by much then he will be able to find him soon. The seas down south are rough and there are only a few places he could have gone.

“Take care, dearest friend.”

-

It takes two days of constant swimming to find Jaehwan.

Sanghyuk swims and swims. His tails are sore and the scales on his upper body sting from relentless beating of the strong currents. The waters get deeper and after some point no sunlight penetrated the waters.

Sanghyuk struggles to keep up. The fatigue and the increasing water pressure slow him down considerably. He almost gives up till he sees the rock formations on the seabed give way to deep fissures.

Sanghyuk almost gives up hope till he runs across the glowing lights. Sanghyuk knows of the tiny plants that glow on the ocean floor and occasionally glow to reflect that there is magma on ocean beds nearby. These must be the lights Taekwoon referred to, Sanghyuk thinks.

Sanghyuk follows the lights growing across the fissure. The waters here taste different and leave a funny taste in Sanghyuk's mouth. Though it may be an odd mix of nervousness and anxiety he will concede.

The lights guide him through the fissures to a set of caves. Sanghyuk hesitates in the face of the ominous dark opening but swims in. He swims about, a few strides forward and a few back, moving cautiously and always keeping track of the direction he needs to use to return.

He notices a distinct glow to his left when he swims in a little. He follows it, unsure of where it goes. The cave meanders but ends quickly in a round wall with glowing crystals set in them.

Jaehwan stops moving diametrically opposite him, surprised to see him there.

"Hyukkie" he says, in shock and not quite believing his eyes.

"Master. Jaehwan" Sanghyuk cries out. Relief, happiness and weariness, all wash over him like a tidal wave lashing against the shore in a tsunami. He swims forward and Jaehwan reaches out to catch him as he stumbles, falling into Jaehwan's arms.

"What are you doing here?" Jaehwan asks, holding Sanghyuk securely.

"I came looking for you" Sanghyuk tells him.

"Why?" Jaehwan asks. The _"I thought you never wanted to see me again"_ goes unsaid.

"I…" Sanghyuk says, his words caught in his mouth.

"Your tail is turning pink again" Jaehwan teases with a smile. To Jaehwan who knows Sanghyuk well now, this is indication enough of his true feelings.

"Come back home" Sanghyuk begs him. "Come back home with me."

"Tomorrow. Tonight we must rest. You're in no condition to swim" Jaehwan points out. Sanghyuk's body is not made for this kind of exertion in deep waters and the younger merman knows it.

"Tomorrow" he agrees. He pulls himself away but holds on to Jaehwan's hand as he looks around.

"What are these?" he asks, looking curiously at the glowing crystals.

"Olivine. I've been studying these rocks for quite some time" Jaehwan tells him.

"For Taekwoon's potions?"

Jaehwan nods and continues. "It's a part of peridotite. I was curious to see if the effects changed with pure olivine over peridotite."

"Has Taekwoon tried it?" Sanghyuk inquires.

"He said the potion gave him more energy. He didn't know what I had changed but it seemed to work better with lesser side effects" Jaehwan explains.

"So… he can lead a normal life above the surface?" Sanghyuk asks hopefully. Jaehwan nods in response and he smiles to himself.

"Not just that, I think it could be used for many other medicinal potions in the pure form too. It truly is an amazing discovery" he tells the younger one. Sanghyuk smiles proudly and it's Jaehwan's turn to be shy.

"You aren't mad any longer, are you?" Jaehwan asks, guiding Sanghyuk so they can sit down while leaning against the cave walls. Sanghyuk shakes his head in response before putting his head down on Jaehwan's shoulders.

"When I was searching for you, I met Taekwoon and we talked. The things he said… I guess I just needed to understand his point of view" Sanghyuk admits.

"He truly loves Hakyeon" Jaehwan tells him and Sanghyuk nods in agreement. The movement sends tingles through Jaehwan's body.

"I think I'll need time to get used to all of this" Sanghyuk confesses.

"Take all the time you need" Jaehwan says. Sanghyuk hums in response before closing his eyes.

As he drifts off to sleep, he catches faint hazy notes of Jaehwan humming a lullaby and thinks of how everything has changed. His world turned upside down but still remaining the same. Everything he knows and believes, washed out in the waves of change that advance and recede just out of reach.

**Author's Note:**

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